I Was Just About To Call My Husband To Complain But Then Something Stopped Me

Backtracking to this past Tuesday since mom life has delayed my posting (better late than never, right?)

My day sucked (or at least I thought it did before so stumbled across something that snapped me back to reality).

I tried for 3 hours last night to put my kids to bed. First, I went into Landon’s room (my almost 2 year old) and laid down in his new big boy bed, next to him, where he usually falls asleep quite fast. Only this time, he would doze off and each of the 3 times I tried to sneak out, he woke up crying “mommy mommy.” – I finally put him in my bed, he started to fall asleep and then I moved on to Luca, my 4 year old. I turned his TV off and he started crying that he wanted to watch more (what is with kids and YouTube? I think I need to take it off of his TV once and for all). Anyways, I tried to sneak out of his room after he cried that he needed to watch more TV, it was too dark in the room even with a nightlight, he was cold, hot, didn’t want a blanket, didn’t want to sleep alone)…the whole nine. 5 minutes later he showed up in my bedroom saying he didn’t want to sleep in his room.

Okay, no biggie. This is nothing new to me. But neither would stop fidgeting, hitting each other (boys) and Luca was tattling every 30 seconds “my brother hit me, Landon’s kicking, Landon’s talking”). In my head I’m thinking of the book my best friend got me as a joke a few years back called “Go the Fuck to Sleep,” wishing it would be my reality right now!

Fast forward to the morning, I’m exhausted as Landon starts rubbing my face at 6:45am “mommy mommy” in his cute little voice.

Okay, I’m up. Let’s start the day.

My husband worked until 4am so not atypical, I’m on my own in the mornings. I got both boys up (mind you, Luca is impossible in the mornings – it’s like someone stuck a 15 year olds brain into my 4 year old child’s body). “I’m tired, I want to sleep 5 more minutes, I don’t want breakfast, that shirt isn’t comfy, don’t let Landon touch me”..the list goes on. I got them dressed, fed them, made lunches, cleaned up and got them out the door and on their way to school. I walked both boys in and got back in my car to head home.

Wednesday’s are when I have the most client calls so from the second I wake up until the time I get back from dropping the boys, I’m already in a mass panic sorting out in my head which reports I need to review, what items I need to put into my call agendas, etc.

Fast forward to about the time I go to get the boys (survived my 2 client calls at this point). I get a message from our Digital team that we had an issue with one of our accounts.

Great news to end the day…so I dealt with that and then got my boys from school.

I truly don’t understand the amount of energy my kids have upon arriving home from school. The second we walk in they run (and I’m not joking), maybe even sprint would be the correct word to our pantry where the snacks are kept. My 1 year old will just repeat over and over “nack nack nack.” (I have to laugh while writing this because I get mad but it’s somewhat funny lol). My oldest climbs onto a little stool we keep under the desk part of the counter in the kitchen to unlock the lock from our pantry (guys, I have to keep a lock on our pantry…if this isn’t mom life, I don’t know what is). They’d be getting snacks out of the cabinet 100 times a day instead of 20 if I didn’t have it. They then proceed to ride on their little cars around the house popping wheelies and making insane car noises (I think they both have secure future careers as voice over professionals for Dodge in making the HellCat rev up sound, not exaggerating).

Fast forward again to dinner, which is always a struggle with my oldest. I’m considering food therapy, recommended by our pediatrician. My youngest is pretty easy when it comes to eating – he’s a variety is the spice of life kind of guy and will generally eat whatever I made if it’s not too over the top lavish.

Bath time and then bed routine (I use the word routine very openly because it’s not a strict down to the minute routine).

I went to lay down and put Landon to bed (same deal as last night) while Luca was in his room watching TV. Another night of Landon popping up every 5 minutes to see if I was still next to him. I think I need to hire a sleep trainer (some of my friends have had success with it). An hour went by…now I’m really annoyed telling Landon to go to sleep but angrily, like he was a 10 year old who knew what I was even talking about.

I was on the verge of tears. All I wanted to do was sit my butt down on my couch or in bed, catch up on a few shows (I haven’t even gotten to turn my TV on this week, that’s how hectic it’s been) and type up a blog post (this one!)

I almost called my husband to complain how stressed I was (while he was out working).

Before I hit the call button, I was just scrolling scrolling on my phone on Instagram hoping he would finally fall asleep and then

.BAM.

I stopped scrolling when I came across a few popular baby clothing brands I follow who had re-posted a story about a beautiful baby girl who had experienced a seizure a few months back, later to be diagnosed with brain cancer. The parents were so hopeful with radiation treatment and their long hospital stay that their baby was improving (months in the hospital – they had pretty much readjusted their lives and were living in a hospital). The little girl pictured is so beautiful and innocent. A few days ago they found out the cancer had spread to her spine and the hospital sent them home for her to be on hospice, to be made as comfortable as possible in her final few weeks.

I have the chills all over my body writing this and tears in my eye. If you’re a parent, you understand.

I can’t even fathom what this family is going through. You bring a baby into this world praying and hoping for the best life for them.

My thoughts about calling my husband to complain about our kids not sleeping evaporated into thin air. I started crying reading the post about this little beautiful girl whose life is going to be cut short, taken from her family at a way too young age. My thoughts about my kids not sleeping seemed so irrelevant at this point.

All I kept thinking was, my kids are here, home, with me, safe, healthy. Are they annoying sometimes? Without a doubt. Am I probably a little too jumpy at times? Absolutely.

It’s in that moment that I realized I needed a kick in the butt from an Instagram post of someone else’s sick child to realize mine were right in front of me. In that moment, I felt peace and content (but also heartbreak for the little girl’s family) .

My heart goes out to the family of this little girl. Lots of people are thinking about you right now during this tough time.

-Jo

3 Things I’ve Learned As a Mom In My 4.5 Years Of Being One

It’s true. 4.5 years isn’t a whole lot of “Mom-ing” in the larger scope of a typical lifespan but it sure feels like I’ve learned a great deal about motherhood, myself, my marriage, my friendships and my career during this time. Lots of firsts, lots of milestones achieved, lots of questions, lots of tears, obstacles, challenges, adventures, pictures, laughs, comparisons, thoughts and growth. Just because we are new at something, doesn’t mean we aren’t evolving. Am I an expert? Furthest thing from it. Different stages of our children’s lives requires different evolution. Infancy requires physical nurturing. Toddler-hood requires patience and hands-on learning. Teenager stage (as I once was one) requires more mental contribution as your child preps for high school/college and figures out who they are and what their life purpose will be. Here are 3 things I’ve learned as a mom in my 4.5 years of being one.

  1. Don’t get upset when the extra guests you invited to your kid’s birthday party sell out.

Seems silly right? It is, sort of…but not really when you take a closer look at what this may teach. As a new mom, our child’s first birthday is something most of us don’t take lightly. If you’re anything like me, the party went something like this. 75 person guest list, rented out the club house, first child of ours, first grandchild on both sides, exquisite catered food, professional designer, insanely pretty cake (and a smash cake) and a real Mickey came to visit… Why? Because it is special when your child hits 1 and you want everyone to be there to celebrate. You invite the family, your close friends, the Mom’s you’ve met at playgroups, Mom’s you’ve met through other moms, through friends, the neighbors, everyone. And soon you’ll realize, ding ding…the sound of your phone’s text noise on party day as cancellations start to roll in. It happens, it’s inevitable. I remember getting ready for my son’s party, already rushing and stressed and then getting cancellation texts the morning of. Was I upset? Yes. What did I learn? As time went on and we had our second child, I started to realize the ones who cancelled were almost always the “extras” on the list. They were the acquaintances. The guests you wanted to invite to be nice but not necessarily your family or very close friends. I started to realize that I didn’t need to impress “acquaintance” friends , invite them to parties, or get upset when they cancelled. My parties shrunk and so did my stress. Keep only the people around who want to be involved in yours and your children’s lives. Legitimate excuse to cancel? Fine. But the rest, you learn to weed out and with it, a magical weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

  • It’s okay if your friends are sleep training masters and you’re a hot mess with no schedule.

Maybe I’ll get mom shamed for this by the Schedule Sally’s of the world but I have friends from all ends of the spectrum. I have the new mom friends who tell me they hired a sleep coach because they have post partum and their kid won’t sleep. The new moms who after 6 months of sleep training their infant want to start a sleep training company because they are that invested in this method. Me? I think I’m somewhere in the middle leaning more towards the hot mess, no schedule. Do I try? Absolutely. Does it always work perfectly? Yeah right. I have one child who semi loves routine and one whose brain never shuts off…no off switch, at all…ever. You’d think a child who wakes up at 7:30am, is at school all day, jiu jitsu, running outside…nope, 11pm still not asleep sometimes. I work full time and do pretty much all of the kid stuff each day on my own as my husband works a crazy amount of hours – getting the kids dressed, breakfast, making lunches, driving to school, getting from school, sports, dinner, bathe, clean dishes. It’s HARD (at least for me it is…I know there are some super moms out there who may not think so). Do I think I’m a failure because I’m leaning into that hot mess zone? Not really. We’re all different and need to relax with the comparisons. Your method may not be my right method and vice versa. What works for me may not work for you….and that is A-OKAY.

  • Working Moms Envy SAHM and SAHM Envy Working Moms

As a career woman and full time working mom, I can tell you that I’ve dreamt of being a stay at home mom since conceiving our first child. With the lifestyle we’d adopted prior to getting pregnant (which was based on 2 pretty decent incomes), it just wasn’t in the plan to be able to stay home. Did I at one point start to think I wish I didn’t make as much money so I could stay home with my baby? YES. Is that crazy? I don’t know, maybe? Do I like contributing monetarily for our children’s security and future? Absolutely. Would I stay home if I could? Probably for 2 months until I yearned to talk to to adults and go to Homegoods/Target to frivolously buy pretty house decor! In all seriousness, I’m torn but usually lean towards envying my stay at home mom friends. You’re HOME with your CHILDREN. You get to teach them all of their “firsts” and make sure they’re safe, loved, learning the right things. Yet on the other hand, my stay at home mom friends tell me they’d go to work if they could make enough where it would be worth it. They want to talk to adults. I want to just talk to my kids (or at least in my mind it sounds good). Will anyone ever be 100% satisfied with their situation? No, probably not. It’s okay to want what you can’t have if you come back to reality and know the pros/cons and of your situation. It’s whatever works best for you and your family.

Mom-ing definitely has its ups and downs but there are so many of us just trying to figure out life and motherhood as we go along. It’s normal! Learning is a part of the Mom-ing journey and it’s a never ending evolution. What have you learned as a Mom that’s made you into a stronger/better person?