We All Have This One Thing In Common With Mr. Christian Grey

Let me start this off by saying I had never watched the 50 Shades Of Grey Movies when they debuted and I had only read the first book when it was released (but woah, all the feels when I read the book – did anyone else want to immediately go immediately find their husband, wife or significant other 😂? ) Okay, let’s keep this PG-13. No specific reason for not seeing the movies – I’m just not a huge movie person in general (cannot tell you the last movie I saw in an actual movie theatre) and I was pretty side tracked with my toddler (then) and new baby on the way.

Fast forward to a few years after “50 Shades Of Grey” and “50 Shades Darker” had been released. I was home alone one night while my hub was working, with only Luca at this point (Landon wasn’t born yet) and decided to watch the first movie after I had put him to sleep.

Well, that spiraled quickly and before I knew it, it was 3am and I had watched both the first and second movie, pretty much obsessed at this point….not in the fact that he was a sadist but at the romance, fiery passion, luxurious lifestyle and this one sentence Christian mentioned in the first movie that pretty much became engrained into my head for eternity.

Christian Grey:
“To what do I owe my success?

Anastasia Steele:
[nervously] Yep.

Christian Grey:
Seriously?

Anastasia Steele:
Yes.

Christian Grey:
Business is about people and I’ve always been good at people. What motivates them. What inspires them.

Anastasia Steele:
Maybe you’re just lucky.

Christian Grey:
I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have. The key to my success has been in identifying talented individuals and harnessing their efforts.”

BOOM – like a freight train, this one liner struck me hard. This one little sentence has stuck with me from that night I decided to first indulge in the fantasy life of Mr, Christian Grey himself.

—“I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have.”

——-

To me though, this doesn’t only apply to work as in your monetary income stream. This applies in all facets of life.

It may seem like such a simplistic thought, maybe even common sense.

I think we can all agree that adulthood is difficult, not only for the fact that you are discovering your self, your career path, seeking your significant other to do life with, having children, figuring out how to care and nurture those children in the best way possible, trying to keep your friendships alive, all while trying to ensure you make a teeny tiny little bit of extra time for yourself in the process.

1. Work

—“I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have.”

This one liner applies to work in the sense that there are no hand outs (unless you’re a trust fund baby (or win the lotto) and if that’s the case, I applaud you and maybe envy you just a tad)). That’s certainly not the case for me (or us). The harder and smarter you work, the more success you’ll have, in most cases, not all…but majority. (I feel like I need disclaimers on my writing for the .0005% who will have something negative to say). You work harder at your job and you may see a pay raise. You work harder building your client pipeline and you may see an increase in demand and sales. You work harder at getting positive feedback and the larger your word of mouth/referral base becomes. The harder you work to train your team, the more productive they become.

2. Friendships

—“I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have (in my friendships).”

This applies to friendships in the sense that in reality, a friendship is a job in itself, just like your monetary income stream job. Your friendships require work to keep alive. If you neglect your friendships, never call, never see the person or make any conscious effort, your friendship will likely wither away and like Mr. Wonderful on Shark Tank says “you’re dead to me.” Yeah, that’s pretty much what will happen to your friendships if you don’t work at them. The more effort you apply (let me say that this applies to “healthy” friendships only, not the toxic ones that should be goners anyways), the more “luck” you’ll have with keeping them alive and flourishing.

3. Relationships (significant others):

—“I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have (in relationships).”

This applies in your romantic relationships as well. Let’s face it. No relationship is perfect (maybe on social media) (I mean if you think yours is, great and I want to meet you ASAP…but mainly they’re not)…not to sound depressing or dull. The harder you work at your relationship, the less likely it is to fail. Yes, fail. It happens all of the time. I’m 13 years deep into mine and my hubs relationship and it is nowhere close to perfect. I like that saying “perfectly imperfect” because everyone has a different definition of perfect. Be realistic with yourself and your partner. We all have imperfections, faults…but we also all have strengths and unique characteristics that make us first like or fall in love with our significant other. (Disclaimer: I am not a marriage counselor, psychiatrist or doctor…these are my personal opinions based on 30 years of life experience).

4. Parenting

—“I’ve always found that the harder I work the more luck I seem to have (in being a parent).”

Parenting is HARD. We all face ups, downs and everything in between. The harder I seem to work on bettering MYSELF, the more luck I have with parenting. You may be asking “but isn’t this solely about the harder you work on parenting, the better you’ll become at parenting? NO. I’ve found that at times I’m not my best self (whether that’s because of work stress or marital stress or monetary stress). If I’m not my best self, how can I be my best version of a parent to my kids (who don’t know any better?) They deserve the best version of me, so I strive to try to work on myself to improve in this category when I feel like I’m slacking.

Gosh, Christian Grey. You’ve taught us mighty well. Thank you for your wisdom and forever being stuck in my mind.

Xo,

Jo

Movie quote source: https://www.quotes.net/mquote/1004266

3 Things I’ve Learned As a Mom In My 4.5 Years Of Being One

It’s true. 4.5 years isn’t a whole lot of “Mom-ing” in the larger scope of a typical lifespan but it sure feels like I’ve learned a great deal about motherhood, myself, my marriage, my friendships and my career during this time. Lots of firsts, lots of milestones achieved, lots of questions, lots of tears, obstacles, challenges, adventures, pictures, laughs, comparisons, thoughts and growth. Just because we are new at something, doesn’t mean we aren’t evolving. Am I an expert? Furthest thing from it. Different stages of our children’s lives requires different evolution. Infancy requires physical nurturing. Toddler-hood requires patience and hands-on learning. Teenager stage (as I once was one) requires more mental contribution as your child preps for high school/college and figures out who they are and what their life purpose will be. Here are 3 things I’ve learned as a mom in my 4.5 years of being one.

  1. Don’t get upset when the extra guests you invited to your kid’s birthday party sell out.

Seems silly right? It is, sort of…but not really when you take a closer look at what this may teach. As a new mom, our child’s first birthday is something most of us don’t take lightly. If you’re anything like me, the party went something like this. 75 person guest list, rented out the club house, first child of ours, first grandchild on both sides, exquisite catered food, professional designer, insanely pretty cake (and a smash cake) and a real Mickey came to visit… Why? Because it is special when your child hits 1 and you want everyone to be there to celebrate. You invite the family, your close friends, the Mom’s you’ve met at playgroups, Mom’s you’ve met through other moms, through friends, the neighbors, everyone. And soon you’ll realize, ding ding…the sound of your phone’s text noise on party day as cancellations start to roll in. It happens, it’s inevitable. I remember getting ready for my son’s party, already rushing and stressed and then getting cancellation texts the morning of. Was I upset? Yes. What did I learn? As time went on and we had our second child, I started to realize the ones who cancelled were almost always the “extras” on the list. They were the acquaintances. The guests you wanted to invite to be nice but not necessarily your family or very close friends. I started to realize that I didn’t need to impress “acquaintance” friends , invite them to parties, or get upset when they cancelled. My parties shrunk and so did my stress. Keep only the people around who want to be involved in yours and your children’s lives. Legitimate excuse to cancel? Fine. But the rest, you learn to weed out and with it, a magical weight is lifted off of your shoulders.

  • It’s okay if your friends are sleep training masters and you’re a hot mess with no schedule.

Maybe I’ll get mom shamed for this by the Schedule Sally’s of the world but I have friends from all ends of the spectrum. I have the new mom friends who tell me they hired a sleep coach because they have post partum and their kid won’t sleep. The new moms who after 6 months of sleep training their infant want to start a sleep training company because they are that invested in this method. Me? I think I’m somewhere in the middle leaning more towards the hot mess, no schedule. Do I try? Absolutely. Does it always work perfectly? Yeah right. I have one child who semi loves routine and one whose brain never shuts off…no off switch, at all…ever. You’d think a child who wakes up at 7:30am, is at school all day, jiu jitsu, running outside…nope, 11pm still not asleep sometimes. I work full time and do pretty much all of the kid stuff each day on my own as my husband works a crazy amount of hours – getting the kids dressed, breakfast, making lunches, driving to school, getting from school, sports, dinner, bathe, clean dishes. It’s HARD (at least for me it is…I know there are some super moms out there who may not think so). Do I think I’m a failure because I’m leaning into that hot mess zone? Not really. We’re all different and need to relax with the comparisons. Your method may not be my right method and vice versa. What works for me may not work for you….and that is A-OKAY.

  • Working Moms Envy SAHM and SAHM Envy Working Moms

As a career woman and full time working mom, I can tell you that I’ve dreamt of being a stay at home mom since conceiving our first child. With the lifestyle we’d adopted prior to getting pregnant (which was based on 2 pretty decent incomes), it just wasn’t in the plan to be able to stay home. Did I at one point start to think I wish I didn’t make as much money so I could stay home with my baby? YES. Is that crazy? I don’t know, maybe? Do I like contributing monetarily for our children’s security and future? Absolutely. Would I stay home if I could? Probably for 2 months until I yearned to talk to to adults and go to Homegoods/Target to frivolously buy pretty house decor! In all seriousness, I’m torn but usually lean towards envying my stay at home mom friends. You’re HOME with your CHILDREN. You get to teach them all of their “firsts” and make sure they’re safe, loved, learning the right things. Yet on the other hand, my stay at home mom friends tell me they’d go to work if they could make enough where it would be worth it. They want to talk to adults. I want to just talk to my kids (or at least in my mind it sounds good). Will anyone ever be 100% satisfied with their situation? No, probably not. It’s okay to want what you can’t have if you come back to reality and know the pros/cons and of your situation. It’s whatever works best for you and your family.

Mom-ing definitely has its ups and downs but there are so many of us just trying to figure out life and motherhood as we go along. It’s normal! Learning is a part of the Mom-ing journey and it’s a never ending evolution. What have you learned as a Mom that’s made you into a stronger/better person?

Confessions of a Working Mom

Hi friends! Very exciting stuff happening in the world of Pretty Little Pretzel! If you love my brutal honesty, sarcasm and wittiness, please read my new blog post as part of a “Guest Feature” project on The World of Motherhood.   Please check it out HERE 🙂  Let me know your thoughts and feel free to share if you share the same Confessions!